Still the Magician

While in my 20s, I continued to learn all I could. I saw several psychics (nothing amazing), and did several interesting past-life regressions, but still had asthma and claustrophobia. Several sources had mentioned the Silva Method as a good place to start for psychic development. And it “just so happened” that I found a course nearby.

It was a great experience. At the end of the Basic Course we did medical intuitive work. We sat in pairs and one person thought of someone they knew with a health issue and the other would use the Silva technique to see what it was. I amazed myself and got two out of three. I was thrilled to have some validation from the universe that I could indeed develop my psychic powers, even if the going was slower than I would have liked.

I continued to read and practice but made little practical progress. The one thing I never did quite get the hang of was meditation. I’ve never been able to shut my mind off for more than two minutes max. Though sometimes I was frustrated at my lack of psychic progress and persistent asthma, I kept reading and believing and knew that one day psychic development would come.

I was comfortable with my new age spirituality, but I knew that I hadn’t yet regained my faith. A quote that frequently went through my mind was “There, but for the grace of God, go I” Another theme that haunted me was from Greek mythology. The gods would always strike down arrogant humans who gloated over their good fortune. Not that I was ever a gloater, but I was afraid of too much good fortune. Although intellectually I believed I had a path and that all things happen for a reason, deep down inside I was terrified of the possibility of random events.

Once I married and had children, I had little time to pursue my psychic development. I still believed, but had no time to devote to it. Career and financial concerns made it even less likely that I would meditate. I dabbled: here a Reiki course and there a past life regression workshop. When life got really stressful, the universe sent me Kundalini yoga. I “stumbled” onto Dharma Singh Khalsa’s book Meditation as Medicine. Then I found Gururattan Kaur Khalsa’s web site with her free email-based introduction to Kundalini yoga. Her books, as well as music CDs I bought from her web site, helped me through some very difficult times.

For the most part, that was how my 30s played out: High on interest, low on practice and lower on results. Things were soon to get interesting though…